I just read an article in Scientific American. The article pointed to evidence that when people think about money or are introduced to stimuli that would invoke thoughts of money one becomes less likely to ask for help or to help other people. I thought the result was fairly interesting but not all that shocking. After I thought about it for some time I noticed an oddity about the study, there seems to be a link between asking for help and having a desire to help other people.
This seemed very counter intuitive to me. For the most part, the people I know that help people the most are least likely to ask or accept help from another. I have always attributed this character flaw to a bit of hypocrisy in all of us. I think the core of is one is to prideful to accept help as it seems like a weakness and one is willing to give help as it seems like a strength. So it is OK for others to be weak but not me. This of course is never really the case as asking and accepting help often requires one to swallow ones pride, or deal with some other fear of inadequacy; in such the asking requires more strength than most acts. It is those acts which dominated the urges that would hinder self improvement that require the most strength.
But I digress. I have long thought that not asking for help was fundamentally an issue of pride and fear. After much thinking and a deeper understanding of the article in Scientific American it has become clear to me that not asking for help is fundamentally an issue of greed. When one helps others one gets the benefit of altruism. When one does not allow others to help them one denies that gift of altruism to others. That seems quit selfish to me. I get to enjoy the benefits of being benevolent but you don't. I can not view that as anything else but hording. Thinking of money instinctively brought about selfish behavior in the study, one of which was not asking for help. I remember a long long time ago I said to someone, "Hey sometimes you have to serve by letting yourself be served."
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I have to disagree with you. I think the problem with those who are unable/unwilling to accept help is more pride than selfishness. It is exactly the fact that they don't understand that they are keeping the blessings of altruism from others that causes the problem, in my opinion.
Not arguing that it isn't a weakness, just saying I think it has a different root cause.
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