One of my favorite topics to think and talk about is zombies. Why? I don’t know. Another thing I do a lot is argue. Great facilitators for argument are top X number lists. My work buddies and I started to talk about various zombie scenarios and what would be the top whatever for such and such situation. I noticed a trend in our discussions, when I talk about zombies taking over I refer to it as a zombie infestation while my work buddies call them zombie insurrections.
You are probably wondering what the big deal is. Come on they both start with the letter “I” and heck it really doesn’t change the reality of ten thousand zombies looking to eat your delicious brains. See these words are the beginnings of a serious point, zombies are not people! As you can see the word insurrection implies some kind of rebellion. In that implication is the notion that zombies have some kind of intelligence, a will even. With a will we can even attempt to say they might have a soul, or rights. Let’s get this straight people zombies while once human are not humans. The more we start using human quality words on them the more dangerous it becomes. One of the classic mistakes made in every zombie movie is having feelings of attachment for a zombie that was once a loved one. The zombie lover then falls prey to their attachment because they don’t realize that this isn’t a human and you got a zombie loose on the inside of your defenses. Zombies are a disease or at best an invasion of an unwanted entity. Heck I would say that zombies aren’t even alive, they are the undead after all. Think this is not a problem; just look at all the zombie movies that are starting to add little human characteristics to zombies. We have a problem; when the infestation does happen we can have no doubt, zombies must go. Remember the Simpsons episode where Homer ends up at his house being chased by flesh eating mutants and they start talking peace, and then they blast them? We need to have that kind of mentality.
Other fine points of zombie infestations I would like to make, a chain saw is not a good melee weapon. First it can run out of fuel. That is the last thing you want in a melee weapon. Second it is extremely heavy. Granted it can cause a lot of damage but that leads to three, the amount of splatter with a chain saw is high. The amount of fluids that could possibly transmit the zombie bug (for the sci-fi zombie scenarios where it is a virus that causes it) increases dramatically and increases the odds you will be infected which is death. My personal choice is an aluminum bat. It is light and causes a lot of blunt trauma. This mean you can hit the head of the zombie (its only true weak spot) and not worry about a lot of issues. Wooden blunt objects are to prone to breaking thus the aluminum bat is a better choice. There are some other blunt melee weapons that are good but generally to heavy. I think you will fatigue and be swarmed.
There is still a robust debate regarding which vehicle would be best. I’m of the opinion that one where you can limit in and out access to the top of it and good fuel economy are considerations. The best place to hold up has been Walmart, but I don’t think that is an absolute conclusion. I’ve also tossed the idea around that an area with extreme cold weather would be a good spot to. Zombies must have extremely low heat output thus they would freeze and basically be harmless or even better completely neutralized. Alaska would be a good consideration, sort of like the latest Resident Evil movie (we thought of this way before the movie by the way and they didn’t even site the cold as a possible advantage).
Just remember zombies are not humans. If that sounds like a hate speech, then call me a zombie hater.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Conflict
I was watching football (American) this last weekend. For those of you that follow the sport you all realized the big game was between the New England Patriots and the Dallas Cowboys. I felt conflicted. I didn't know who to root for, or should I say I couldn't find who to root against. See I'm a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. On one hand I have the historical hatred of the Cowboys. We have this rivalry that dates back to the 70's Super Bowls. I was also pissed when they beat us in the 90's at the big show. That and the Cowboy fans are some of the most annoying ever. Then the Pats; they knocked us out of the playoffs twice in the last ten years, both times I think the Steelers had a legit shot at it all. Come to think of it Patriot fans are some of the most annoying in football. I was glad that someone had to lose, then again I was sad that someone had to win. In the end Dallas lost. I guess it is all for the best.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The Power of Empty Words
It is a shame that often words of importance only matter to people where we don’t have to worry about those words. There is an upcoming issue with the word “genocide”. US lawmakers are poised to pass a resolution on whether or not to call the 1915 mass killings of Armenians by Ottoman Turks during the WWI time frame, genocide. There is a bit of political tension on this topic. Modern Turkey is an important NATO ally with the United States. Currently Turkey is strategically important to the United States joint operations in Iraq.
This issue, being political, is complicated. It is clear that calling the activities that happened during the time frame of the Armenian mass killings/genocide, genocide would embarrass Turkey. Turkey has already received a rebuff from the West by being denied membership in the EU. France has taken it a step further and made a law making it illegal to say the killings were not genocide. For all of Turkey’s efforts to demonstrate that it is a modern westernized state it hasn’t been given much slack.
Turkey’s claim is not an outright denial of the killings. Rather they point to the fall of the Ottoman Turk Empire and the chaos that followed as the cause of the killing. The killings according the Turkish government wasn’t a planned and organized slaughter like the Nazis. People of this view generally contend that it is not the business of government to define history, let the historians define it. They propose that academics examine all the records on both the Turk and Armenian side and render a verdict.
The view mentioned seems very reasonable. Unfortunately for that stance, the majority of historians have concluded that it was genocide. The argument of defining genocide being an academic endeavor not a government one has some weight to it. I keep wondering why the government would call something genocide if it is recognized as genocide by historians. The only answer I can think of is that it must have some kind of legal ramifications and actions to follow. Another possibility is putting the country on notice that we are aware of the past history of genocide and it won’t happen again.
The odd thing is from my understanding of Turkey; the odds of another genocidal incident would be pretty rare. So it comes down to some kind of legal action right? Well the classification is useless. It isn’t going to lead to sanctions or some kind of reprimand.
I got to thinking about the broader issue of genocide and what it means in the United States. Genocide is a nasty word. It is on par with being liken unto Hitler or a communist. I want to be candid about what I think genocide means in the United States. What I might say will probably offend people so you’ve been warned, stop reading now. People in the United States don’t care about genocide. We fake it. It might be more accurate to say we don’t care enough about genocide, but I’m sticking to my guns, we don’t care about genocide. We feign our strong distaste for genocide. I know what you are going to say, every American opposes genocide. Really, on what level?
My case for my point is Darfur. We’ve know genocide was/is happening. It was just a matter of reporting the numbers. Don’t tell me the public doesn’t know. Time dedicated a lot of recourses reporting on it (excellently I might add). All those rock stars and movie stars have been yelling about it for some time now. What have we done? Nothing. Let me bring it home for you. For those of you who pray where is genocide on the list of things you pray about? Does it wrench your heart to know that genocide is going on? How much do you feel knowing that thousands upon thousands of innocents are being killed? Do you think daily what sacrifices you can make to help it stop? Have you cried one tear for the dead of Darfur? Would you be willing to give up your new HD TV to help, or your PS3, Xbox 360, your new ipod, or how about Christmas, would you be willing to give all that you would receive for Christmas to save one life in Darfur? Well you’ve been able to for several years now, and I’m willing to bet just like me you haven’t done a thing. That’s right we have been able to do something and we haven’t. So when we say Americans care about genocide are we just puffing up and putting on a good face? I think so.
It is hard for me. Realizing how magnificent we were created to be yet seeing how despicable we are. I know my pain gives little to my penitence for inaction, but I suppose it is something, just not something that means anything to the dead. Humanity is an odd meal to eat. It’s flavor a constant paradox.
This issue, being political, is complicated. It is clear that calling the activities that happened during the time frame of the Armenian mass killings/genocide, genocide would embarrass Turkey. Turkey has already received a rebuff from the West by being denied membership in the EU. France has taken it a step further and made a law making it illegal to say the killings were not genocide. For all of Turkey’s efforts to demonstrate that it is a modern westernized state it hasn’t been given much slack.
Turkey’s claim is not an outright denial of the killings. Rather they point to the fall of the Ottoman Turk Empire and the chaos that followed as the cause of the killing. The killings according the Turkish government wasn’t a planned and organized slaughter like the Nazis. People of this view generally contend that it is not the business of government to define history, let the historians define it. They propose that academics examine all the records on both the Turk and Armenian side and render a verdict.
The view mentioned seems very reasonable. Unfortunately for that stance, the majority of historians have concluded that it was genocide. The argument of defining genocide being an academic endeavor not a government one has some weight to it. I keep wondering why the government would call something genocide if it is recognized as genocide by historians. The only answer I can think of is that it must have some kind of legal ramifications and actions to follow. Another possibility is putting the country on notice that we are aware of the past history of genocide and it won’t happen again.
The odd thing is from my understanding of Turkey; the odds of another genocidal incident would be pretty rare. So it comes down to some kind of legal action right? Well the classification is useless. It isn’t going to lead to sanctions or some kind of reprimand.
I got to thinking about the broader issue of genocide and what it means in the United States. Genocide is a nasty word. It is on par with being liken unto Hitler or a communist. I want to be candid about what I think genocide means in the United States. What I might say will probably offend people so you’ve been warned, stop reading now. People in the United States don’t care about genocide. We fake it. It might be more accurate to say we don’t care enough about genocide, but I’m sticking to my guns, we don’t care about genocide. We feign our strong distaste for genocide. I know what you are going to say, every American opposes genocide. Really, on what level?
My case for my point is Darfur. We’ve know genocide was/is happening. It was just a matter of reporting the numbers. Don’t tell me the public doesn’t know. Time dedicated a lot of recourses reporting on it (excellently I might add). All those rock stars and movie stars have been yelling about it for some time now. What have we done? Nothing. Let me bring it home for you. For those of you who pray where is genocide on the list of things you pray about? Does it wrench your heart to know that genocide is going on? How much do you feel knowing that thousands upon thousands of innocents are being killed? Do you think daily what sacrifices you can make to help it stop? Have you cried one tear for the dead of Darfur? Would you be willing to give up your new HD TV to help, or your PS3, Xbox 360, your new ipod, or how about Christmas, would you be willing to give all that you would receive for Christmas to save one life in Darfur? Well you’ve been able to for several years now, and I’m willing to bet just like me you haven’t done a thing. That’s right we have been able to do something and we haven’t. So when we say Americans care about genocide are we just puffing up and putting on a good face? I think so.
It is hard for me. Realizing how magnificent we were created to be yet seeing how despicable we are. I know my pain gives little to my penitence for inaction, but I suppose it is something, just not something that means anything to the dead. Humanity is an odd meal to eat. It’s flavor a constant paradox.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Suprise
Jake finally woke up to the buzz sound of his alarm clock. He was careful in selecting which alarm he would buy. This particular clock had the helpful and reassuring feature of non-stop buzzing. He felt dull even though he was supposedly sharpening himself for the last four days. His dreams were stressful, even though he really couldn’t recall what they were about. Looking over his cramp quarters, Jake tried to make an inventory of things he need to do right away, maybe he could get some order in his mind if he couldn’t generate such in the piles of chaos he called his room.
Looking over his equipment Jake made his final double check to make sure they were in accordance to the specifications published for the board of review. Seeing his weapon so clean gave Jake a grin. The fabric on his body armor was brushed and soaped clean. Everything was in order, double checked the night before and checked again this morning. Topics, facts, and questions began to buzz in Jake’s mind: numbers, words, definitions, protocols, and on and on. Doubt seemed to cling to very thing he had memorized, but a doubtful recall was all he had and it was better than nothing.
He was told that boards were all about confidence. Confidence was so important that even fake confidence was better than the truth. Well a little fake goes a long way in presentations. Being pulled off the line would be considered a vacation by some, but he couldn’t help feel a little guilty. This was strictly a career move. This board would set him up for another, and eventually an early promotion board. He felt a little sick. He didn’t know if it was the time of day or how he felt. Jake had the feeling all he needed to do was show up and he would win. It was almost set up that way from the get go.
As the door opened and the early light hit his eyes, Jake contemplated what deep thoughts he could gather. Wonderings of the nature of competition, the worth of knowledge, and even his self interest entered his mind. Even though everyone he worked with understood him leaving the line for just a little bit, he couldn’t understand it, or come to grips with it. He just knew that it was what everyone expected anyone to do.
Then it hit him. Like a shimmering glossed katana edge, wait it was a simmering katana edge. A kia was sounded and in a flash the dark shadow zoomed past, steel on flesh. Luckily the victim was only sliced on the meaty parts of his legs. Obviously a low level ninja, otherwise Jake would be dead. “Great” Jake thought, “I get ambushed by a ninja right before the board, who would have thought.” “Well I better stop the bleeding, where’s my medical pouch?”
Looking over his equipment Jake made his final double check to make sure they were in accordance to the specifications published for the board of review. Seeing his weapon so clean gave Jake a grin. The fabric on his body armor was brushed and soaped clean. Everything was in order, double checked the night before and checked again this morning. Topics, facts, and questions began to buzz in Jake’s mind: numbers, words, definitions, protocols, and on and on. Doubt seemed to cling to very thing he had memorized, but a doubtful recall was all he had and it was better than nothing.
He was told that boards were all about confidence. Confidence was so important that even fake confidence was better than the truth. Well a little fake goes a long way in presentations. Being pulled off the line would be considered a vacation by some, but he couldn’t help feel a little guilty. This was strictly a career move. This board would set him up for another, and eventually an early promotion board. He felt a little sick. He didn’t know if it was the time of day or how he felt. Jake had the feeling all he needed to do was show up and he would win. It was almost set up that way from the get go.
As the door opened and the early light hit his eyes, Jake contemplated what deep thoughts he could gather. Wonderings of the nature of competition, the worth of knowledge, and even his self interest entered his mind. Even though everyone he worked with understood him leaving the line for just a little bit, he couldn’t understand it, or come to grips with it. He just knew that it was what everyone expected anyone to do.
Then it hit him. Like a shimmering glossed katana edge, wait it was a simmering katana edge. A kia was sounded and in a flash the dark shadow zoomed past, steel on flesh. Luckily the victim was only sliced on the meaty parts of his legs. Obviously a low level ninja, otherwise Jake would be dead. “Great” Jake thought, “I get ambushed by a ninja right before the board, who would have thought.” “Well I better stop the bleeding, where’s my medical pouch?”
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