There and Back Again a Big Hobbit's Tale

I've almost been back a week now from my vacation to Utah. I did the usual flurry of nothing really productive in the itemization kind of way. I did visit with friends and family. I think there is something to that. Hanging out with your loved ones is an activity that is productive. When somebody goes to the gym to maintain their health people usually think that is a productive activity. So I think hanging out with your loved ones is maintaining your emotional and social health, which is just as important as your physical health. Come to think of it I'm pretty sure there are studies that suggest that being emotionally and socially health leads to longer happier lives.

I can also see that I could have been socially active while not on holiday. So to better view what I actually did on vacation I made a list of things I normally wouldn't do unless on vacation back to Utah:

Hugged a lot of men
Lost twice at Iron Chef, once with onion, and once with orange
Seen people I haven't seen in over eight years
Slept in till noon or later
Play analog games (board games)
Watch eight hours of football every week
See the Utes win huge
Walk around in a shopping mall
Stay up till midnight so I would be awake for Christmas
Clean dog pee out of the carpet
Bought clothes (too include running shoes)

Well that's all I can think of off the top of my head. I sure I did more stuff that I normally don't do, but I'm getting old and my brain is failing.

House of Pain

I am a geek. I am a nerd. I am a dork. Some would say that there is a difference in the three categories, but it is of little importance as I am all three. Being a geeknerddorkmanbearpig, I tend to enjoy top whatever lists. I've noticed it has been over a month since I last looked at, let alone, made a top something list. Nothing really came to mind. Recently I've been feeling sore, tired, and in general broken down. So here is my top five activities that will get you sore and make you feel like Father Time is taking his toll. A couple of notes on the list, the list is based on intensity, quality, area, time, and uniqueness of the pain. So here we go.

5. Running long distance. What do I mean by long distance? I mean six miles plus or an hour plus running, which ever comes later. Running like this can make your quads, calves, and joints sore. Sometimes you get the lower back thing going but rarely. The thing that makes running appear on the list is the pain you get in your feet. While the intensity isn't really there, the quality and areas affected will definitely affect your mobility, making you feel old. An added bonus for new runners, all the phlegm and mucus you cough up after the run.

4. Using a jack hammer for a long time. If you use a jack hammer for about eight hours your body will feel like it has been beat up head to toe. Your joints in the shoulder and hand area will just hurt. This gets placed above running because of the intensity of the pain. You do feel really old when you can't open jars or hold cups because of the pain. You can still move around a bit but heck you hurt.

3. Iron Mike and Duck Walk. Iron Mike for about 100 meters the immediately turn around and Duck Walk back; that counts as one set. If you do six to eight sets you are in business. Everything lower that your lower back will be sore. It will also be so intense that you will find things like standing up, using the bathroom, and sitting down painful. You have no mobility and it last for several days.

2. Holding your head off the ground. Get a helmet that is about six to seven pounds. Wear helmet. Get in the sit up position. Hold head off the ground for about 20 to 45 minutes. Your neck is so sore after you can't get out of bed because you can't get your head off the pillow.

1. Forced road march. Get an external frame back pack. Load pack with at least 25% of your body weight or 33 pounds, whichever is greater. Now march at least six mile at a 13:30 minute mile pace. This will get you sore from your neck to your feet. Your feet will be so sore that you can't walk. Your back will be hurting so much you can't move. Your legs will be sore, you get the picture. This last for days and the intensity is so huge that all you can think about for the first two days is how much you hurt.

Why do you want to do these things? With the exception of running you really don't. Then again what good are top whatever lists anyway?

I’m Still a Man

I felt hungry a little while ago. I hadn't gone to Carl's in a while. So I went. I had this conversation:

 

RFB: I'm still deciding, oh I'd like the chili fries, six dollar guack burger, the six south west, and gees do you think that will fill me up?

 

Clerk: Sir that's two six dollar burgers and chili fries; I don't think you can eat anymore.

 

RFB: OK then I'll get the teriyaki burger as well.

 

The clerk then looked at me like I was crazy and placed the order. After I had eaten all the burgers and fries with ease I dumped all the paper in the trash and the clerk looked at me as with the look of I can't believe he just did that.

Me: 1, People who doubt my ability to be both stupid and consume: 0

Baby Steps

I’ve been told by everyone and their dog that I need to get normal, whatever that is. Thing is I haven’t any sense of what normal is suppose to be. My body is completely confused. For those of you who don’t know I spent some time in the Middle East this last summer. It was hot. I got as use to the heat as possible. Now I’m in Alaska. It is cold in Alaska. The funny thing is I was colder when I was in the Middle East more than I am here. I attribute it to a number of things; I was not sleeping properly, eating properly, and in general working too much. All those things made it feel colder when it was actually warmer. Maybe it is also because now I have the good sense to get in out of the cold when I start feeling cold. I just think my body has come to terms with it sucking all the time so it doesn’t complain as much as it use to.

When I got back to Alaska I decided I was going to start a healthy diet plan. This was going great for about the first week or so when I was back. I got hungry and ordered a pizza with Buffalo wings. I know not the healthiest combo, but I figured I could splurge a little. What I didn’t figure is that I would eat the entire pizza in one sitting and the wings soon after. I don’t think I’ve made myself a meal to date. That has got to be a record for me I’ve gone over eight months without preparing food for myself.

All these items of stupidity tend to show that I am back to my old self. Every now and then I do get a clip that shows that maybe I need a little more adjustment time before I give myself a clean bill of health. One such instance, I was riding in a car down the free way. We were going fast about 75 mph. To me that is zooming. I saw a black tar line on the road. I nearly had a heart attack.

I basically have about a week before I got fly back to Utah. I think I’ll reconnect a couple more dots there. Till the days of winter are over I guess I’ll learn to deal with the cold.

Selfish Service

Back in the day I use to work for the Boy Scouts of America. One of the principles of scouting was the value of selfless service. The value should be self explanatory but let me explain; selfless service is actually the center piece of scouting. With out the service aspect of scouting the Boy Scouts of America would be just another activity group. The point of the BSA was to teach young boys how to be good men, responsible citizens, and yes faithful members of their respective faith. All these thing hinged on the ability of the leaders to teach these young boys the value of loving others and manifesting it by works. As with most learning at the beginning it seems like something not worth one's time. Sometimes one has to be tricked, bribed, or even forced to learn the first few lessons. That is one of the things about scouting, it is know for it's great out door adventure, structured male bonding, and the ability to teach new skills. With the promise of fun and adventure one is/can ultimately be taught the true lesson goals of the BSA. After the first initial feel of doing good for others I know of very few people who turn back from that life principle.

Well it's time to do some service, but this time I think we all (yes all six of you who read this) to focus on ourselves for a change. That is, we need to take care of ourselves. Mainly I'm focusing in on physical well being but I'm sure there are other categories as well. There are plenty of excuses we use: I don't have enough time, it seems painful, now that is not my idea of fun, etc. . . There are many ways one can improve one's health. An easy way is to make a list of things you do that ultimately are just a waste of time and replace them with exercise. Just as the young boy scout learned by servicing others by his own sacrifice he could be happier, I think by servicing our own health through sacrifice we can also be happier.

Just so there are no excuses I'm posting my run goals (just my run goals not everything else that is done). As we all know I have a hard time running here, so if I can do it there really is no excuse, well unless you are missing a leg, wait I know someone who is missing a leg and still runs. So here it is:

Day 1, 7 mile pace run. Steady pace slow to ease into it.
Day 2, 7 mile increasing pace run. Pace gradually increases throughout the run.
Day 3, 7 mile hill intervals.
Day 4, 8 mile pace run. Moderate pace with increase in speed at the last 2 miles.
Day 5, Intervals, 1 mile warm-up, 1200 meters at race pace 400 meters recovery jog repeat 4 times, 1 mile cool down.
Day 6, Whatever I feel like running. I'll probably run hills and speed intervals till I build up more endurance for a long run.

I should be logging about 35-45 miles a week in the next month or so. I'm trying to build up to a consistent 60 mile run week.